Thursday, February 25, 2016

The Secret Life of a Daycare Worker

I have learned a lot in my time as a daycare worker. Special skills include: beating the Olympic world record for the 100 yd dash when you see a child plummet off a bike, being able to quote the entire Frozen script word for word, and I'm practicality an Oscar nominated actress when reading stories (I really missed my calling as an actress).

This is the secret side of daycare work that many do not know.

1. Kids can be cruel.
They have a special skill of point out those pimples that you cannot seem to hide by asking sweetly, "What are those bumps on your forehead?" Or my personal favorite, "Miss Sara, why don't you have a boyfriend?" Thanks for the subtle reminder.

2. Don't be fooled. They always have to go to the bathroom.
No. They are not dancing. They are hinting that they are about to explode unless they go to the bathroom immediately. Of course when you ask, they will say they don't have to go. They are four years old, and in their eyes the toilet is a big hole they can easily fall in. Unless you are looking for the most traumatic experience of your life by cleaning up an accident, get them into that bathroom before that ticking time bomb explodes.

3. Working becomes your workout.
The amount of calories burned by chasing kids across the playground is equivalent to 30 minutes on the treadmill easily. Picking up crying children who have fallen down or just simply miss their mommies, counts as three sets of squats and one set of bench press in my eyes. Plus, sitting criss-cross applesauce definitely is a yoga pose.

4. You are a Hostage Negotiator.
If you sit down for even one second, an international crisis has broken out and you suddenly become a hostage negotiator. It becomes life or death in the nap room when trying to get the screamer to lay down without waking up any of the other children. Tip: There is no problem singing Let It Go can't fix.

5. It is not just a job.
Working at a daycare is not just a job. It's a lifestyle. Even though those little munchkins will kick and scream, they hold a precious spot in your heart. They become part of your life. They are all you can talk about, even when you are off the job.

Working at a daycare is like the pink eye you will no doubt contract. You will turn red, be irritated, and shed a couple of tears every now and then. However, working at a daycare has given me a vast appreciation of teachers. You think working at a daycare is easy? You are wrong. But, it is by far the most rewarding experience you will have.
Who knows? You might get lucky and meet your best friend in the process of chasing kids down. 

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